The home stretch - Porto to Leon

After a lovely morning doing the cultural stuff in Porto while surrounded by bums we decided to skip town and hit the road! We figured our best rote was inland towards Leon in Spain!

Sheila our trusty sat nav estimated a time of 4.30pm arrival in Leon approx 4.45 mins.. Grand we left Porto and headed for the hills, quite literally we climbed and climbed and climbed!

When we reached the top all you could see for miles was Christmas trees! It was quite surreal, there we were with air con on in shorts and T-shirts and tit deep in Christmas trees!

Trish and I had a great time for about ten minutes singing Christmas songs but when after two and a half hours later we were still immersed in the land of St Nick it wasn't quite as fun. It was boring, you could see nothing only varying sizes of Christmas trees! When we eventually got out of crimbo land the place was barren!

There was so little to see I thought we were in a safari somewhere! I was convinced we were going to see an aul lion or giraffe strolling along the barren land! It was miles and miles of sandy soil with a random tree in the middle of it! Not a house, not a petrol station, nothing, nada! Barren!

When we saw a sign for Leon saying 20k but Sheila told us we still had an hour and a half drive we broke into a debate about how reliable Sheila actually was.

It turns out that Sheila was in fact right, we had forgotten about the hours time difference so we were only delighted to arrive in Leon 20 mins later!

We checked into a great hotel in the centre of Leon! Very easy... Just pulled up and booked a room! Great...we showered got changed and hit the old town!

Leon is beautiful, real old Spain. The people are friendly the buildings are beautiful and the beer is ridiculously cheep... €1 a pint and they give you a pincho with every drink! Food so delicious we didn't even bother with dinner! We had sardines in a tomato sauces and various meats and wings and roasted peppers..delicious!

Afterwards I found out that pincho's came about in old Spain where their king decided that people were getting too drunk in the taverns and made it law that taverns provided their patrons with food to stop the drunkenness! Brilliant if you ask me, they should do it everywhere!

Caution though....if in Leon, there is a fabulous square up near the cathedral where you can sit and have a glass of wine and some food! The waiter may bring you nuts! If you are brave enough to accept them the local pigeon gang will most likely attack you!

I fell victim to a pack of rabid pigeons! Much to the delight of several locals I became hysterical when at least 20 birds came to land on top of me and fight amongst themselves over the nuts! They practically used me as a cage as they fought to the death over the bowl of nuts! They were oblivious to my flapping and screaming... Video will be posted to my page if enough interest!!

After our fill of drink and food we sauntered back to the hotel through the lovely streets of Leon!

It's amazing how no matter where you go, what you see or what you do, you can spot the local drug users... They all look the same, they all have that same stare, at your hand bag!

After a short stalk on our way back and a detour into a local biker bar to avoid being mugged ( being a little dramatic ) we eventually made it into the hotel and collapsed with full stomachs into bed to plan the trip home!

I highly recommend Leon, defo worth a visit a definite high point of the trip!

Day 2 - Cherbourg to Bordeaux

Well people, we awoke on board The Oscar Wilde and off I was sent to forage for some food! I had a shower which surprised me! Not that I had a shower of course but the fact that it was surprisingly powerful.

Back I came to the cabin laden with apple juice, orange juice, coffee and cappuccino...oh and not forgetting a bacon sandwich, god only knew when we would be fed again.

After that we realized the hour goes forward and it was nearly time to disembark the boat! Captain Gorden announced that our pilot had arrived, which caused me major confusion until realized that that the pilot guides the ship into port.

After that we were told to make our way to our respective vehicles which was basically everyone bailing their way to their cars with no consideration for anyone else.

We got to the car, we're told not to turn on our engines...of course everyone does...50 minutes later I'm dying of carbon monoxide poising and we get off.. It's first on last off I'm afraid. Not to forget the gobshite who sleeps in and comes running to their vehicle because nobody can move until everyone is in their cars.

Once we hit air we cheer as we pass our passports over to French police who barely look at them before saying Aurivor ... Skip slags me as I respond with hasta mañana

To the open road we head and drive...and drive....and drive.... And nearly run out of petrol!

Sheila our untrustworthy sat nav keeps telling us there are petrol stations everywhere... Tip: every 50k there is a petrol station motorway do not and I repeat do not go looking for one of a Sunday ... Everything closes on Sunday in France ... It's like a Christmas morning in old ireland.

After that I decided I was hungry again and needed a sambo! Due to my total inability to speak French I spoke three languages in one sentence to try purchase one, it went like this:

Ta bron orm, nein sprechen die French, dos (I pointed to said sandwich) por favor .... Skip was only mortified! But laughed it off as she made a fairly decent effort at it!

When we got to the car we found out the petrol station sandwich was chibata, with brie stuffed with goats cheese and topped with lettuce and walnuts! Whatever happened to ham and cheese! To my surprise it was the tastiest sandwich I ever had. Delicious.

Then I needed to pee! I forced skip into a rest stop where the toilet resembled a Thai mountain toilet, I managed successfully but skip wasn't as lucky and complained of smelling piss of herself for about 20 miles as I laughed until I needed to stop again!

You hit one toll just as you enter Bordeaux and its €27... And I moan about the €3 on the M50.

Eight hours later, 870 kilometers of driving from dublin, a couple of recalculations later, we arrive in Bordeaux where the drivers are like the Schumachers on speed. After ten minutes of horn honking and bad drivers I got into the swing of things and was "merde"ing out of me to beat the band!

We arrived at the hotel and were pleasantly surprised by the room, although the shower would be more designed for a person more vertically challenged than myself! The staff were
lovely and check in was as easy as pie!

Off we ventured to the square which was literally 2 mins from the hotel and had a couple of beers before dinner! We went to the only restaurant doing food on a Sunday and I had a very average salmon and scallop tagliatelle with a delicious white wine and skip had a vile chicken and mushroom thing that was freezing! Again I laughed at her misfortune.

We ended off the night in a little bar called Victoria where the staff were lovely and really made the effort! I wasn't into the wine skip chose, it was too sweet and I felt like I was getting brain freeze from it!

We returned to the hotel delighted with the days events and hit the sack... All in all a lovely day was had by all!

Rosslare to Cherbourg - day 1

May I just start by paying my last respects to blacky, our trusted friend who passed on while on route ...without you and your unreliable speed I will not be able to blog everyday! I couldn't be dealing with the iPhone !!! Ps; never buy a hp...pants

We set of from Dublin at 10.30am on a beautiful sunny day....rare in ireland...many friends sent goodbye texts with warnings not to take the weather with us!

Our freshly waxed jeep laden with useless crap that you can't take on a Ryanair flight (just because we could....up yours Ryanair) contained many liquid items over a hundred mills also stuffed in there....what I'll need with a peach sented foot scrub I'll never know, but it was there....just cause I could,

Anyway it got us there in a respectable two hours...panic set in when we realized we forgot the visa just outside rosslare but that passed when we suggested someone posting it out!

We made sure we had our alco meters, hi viz, little magnetic ireland sign all ready for our departure on The Oscar Wilde...a big boat! We went to check in! Got in the shortest que, a similar incident to previous blog about Queing!

It was actually really civilized, I was very surprised! The check in lady was lovely! There was none of the
Awful airport pressure! They loaded the boat in a first come first served manner which is always good and we were directed to our cabin!

The cabin was small, but clean and we had our own loo and shower, all
One needs on an overnight! We headed to the bar at the front of the ship so we could see where we were going and be on view of the horizon line so as to avoid sea sickness. Skippy was also placed in sea sickness bands and filled pockets with motillium...the excitement was building!

An elderly couple came and sat near
Us and decided to share that the exact seat he was sitting on was where he had been sick the last time! Lovely it was!

The ship left on time with a lovely message from the captain about if we here six long blasts followed by a short one.. Run for your life, or maybe it was short blasts and a long one..either way if I hear a blast I'm beating my way to the life boat! I could see the panic in skips eyes! I could almost here her thinking ... 6 blasts : what if I only hear five!

After ten minutes we realized this was boring and headed for the deck where we were blown out of it and I lost my wallet and room key to the breeze! Thankfully after running off like a crazy person and a very agile skip both items were returned to the bag with a note to self message regarding the items not been taken out again!

We retreated to the back of the boat where there was no breeze and the sun was shining, marvelous! We were taking the weather with us, sorry lads!

There I was sitting down relaxing with a beer when I saw dolphins! Dolphins I tell you! I nearly jumped out the window. Skippy thought I had some sort of early onset sea blindness but then people ran from the other end to see them and I shoved it in her face!

After that there was a barrage of questions about dolphins thrown at slip and when I was very politely told that she was not a dolphin encyclopedia I stopped! I asked another question and was informed I was like the squirrel dog from "Up"! Time for another beer!

Eventually we got hungry... I heard awful things about the food on board but because we didn't bring any with us we had no choice! I had a steak pie which was delicious and skip had chicken and chips with honey mustard sauce! I couldn't fault it! Staff again were lovely!

We returned to the front if the ship to watch Leinster beat the dragons and the sky turn a beautiful purple colour.

The day was very relaxing! We were knackered by nine! Retired to the room to watch a DVD on blackie!!! That was when I realized we would have to read! I was like the national library with the amount of books I brought, but I didn't want them so I went to duty free and bought another!

There is such a diverse array of people that are on board the Oscar Wilde, from the gentleman driving the uk registered Maserati to the family of Romanian gypsies who fleeced the perfume section and when I mentioned it to staff they were more interested in their tills!

When I returned to the room I opened the first page of the book i bought and went unconscious ... I woke at 1.58 am not knowing where I was or why my bed was vibrating when I realized I went back to sleep!