For those of you who read my blog about me playing the tin man in the Wizard of Oz, this blog has the same location, just not on the stage.
I was very tiny in both primary and secondary school, always one of the smallest.
In primary it didn't take long for others to take advantage of the fact that I was little. I got bullied a lot, I didn't have that inner city twang that the others had. When I first started in William Street I got an awful lot of grief, I was thrown in a cement mixer, I had paint in my hair, I was constantly slagged because I didn't sound like 'town'. Now don't get me wrong, I had friends, I was popular with them, I don't actually remember feeling like I was being bullied.
I do remember hating and fearing a couple of the girls who in my opinion were horrible people but bar those I enjoyed school. I had lots of extra curricular things to keep me occupied.
My brother (god bless him) on a number of occasions would come running from the nearby boys school to rescue me and find me in all kinds of shite.
Now this incident is not so much my fault, not me being clumsy for once, but some might find it funny.
Not Actual Horses
I was in the PE hall of our school doing gym and there were if you can imagine, these little bench things that after watching the demonstration, one had to jump up on and run along, then jump off it and then jump onto one of those horse things by using this little bouncy thing that wasn't a trampoline but a leathery thing that just gave a bit of a bounce, then jump on the horse and jump off it onto a blue mat then jump on to the other
bench, run along it and run back to the beginning of the line to start all over again.
Easy right, No!
I waited my turn in anticipation, I was very competitive for a short kid. I watched as one of the taller girls pranced along the bench, jumped of, gracefully, then using the bouncy thing flung herself up onto the horse getting a cheer from the others. She then jumped off the horse onto the mat adding a little jump at the end and onto the last bench where she danced and skipped down the bench to the finish. Grand I thought, that looks easy.
I run toward the bench, jump up onto it, EASY, run along the bench and jump off, SUPER, then I run at the bouncy thing, throw myself at it hurling myself toward the horse where I totally wind myself as I didn't get enough hight and my chest hit the edge. OWWHHHHHAA I hear in unison behind me, I fight it off and drag myself up onto the horse. I'm tiny remember, I didn't realise how high this is, I am standing there debating whether or not to scale down the side of it. It looks really high from up there.
I hear someone running along the bench, SHITE, I have to jump down, OHHH I stand there himming and hawwing about throwing myself off it. I look behind and one of the really tall girls is bouncing up onto the horse, there is not enough room for both of us, Balls, I stand and face her deciding to scale down, too late, she bounces up onto the horse, she must have given herself a good bounce cause as she hits the horse she is in the middle of it with one leg out. She kicks me in the chin and I go flying off the horse backwards missing the mat by about a foot.
Not My Actual Neck
I hear all kinds of laughter and I am bawling on the floor. The other girl stands over me apologising but I start to wonder is she really sorry. I am hawled off in an ambulance to head off to Temple Street. Turned out to be for the best cause I was off school for a few days after pulling something in my neck and ended up with a huge collar thing on my neck. I was only about 9.
Who is to blame here, me for dilly dallying on the horse or the tall girl for kicking me off it....
Either way...makes for a good cabbagy moment!
Sometimes I'm a total Cabbage and I spend some time feeling like a bit of a tool, this blog is to share my cabbageness with others! Follow Me On Twitter @funkyjoy77
Showing posts with label injured. Show all posts
Showing posts with label injured. Show all posts
Friday, 13 January 2012
Friday, 2 December 2011
Don't Take Your Washing In When It's Dark!
Not long ago I had various cabbagy moments when I broke my foot while hanging out the washing. Actually I am lying, it was while I was taking in the washing....it was a very dark night and I had totally forgot to take the washing in earlier and fell while doing it...
Cabbagey situation one: I tripped over myself while collecting the washing
Cabbagey situation two: After I wriggled around in pain for a while grabbing said injury I totally started trying to whisper scream to my partner to come rescue me. It was late and I was trying to respect my neighbours.
Cabbagey situation three: The whisper screaming isn't working so I am dragging myself into the house with tears streaming down my face. At this point I resemble that dude out of Misery after Kathy bates hammered his ankles together.
Cabbagey situation four: I'm making my way into the hall when, thank God, Skip eventually hears me pulling myself through the hall. "Did you fall again?" She shouts "Yeah, it wasn't my fault, its very dark" I manage to shout back through the tears.
Cabbagey situation five: I pause for a few moments, one because I am so out of breath from dragging my fat ass through the house and two because I half expected Skip to come and assist me with my disability.....but no, she wasn't coming.
Cabbagey situation six: I make it up the stairs and onto the bed, I start taking photos of said ankle showing Skip all the swolleness of it and 'Flow' my adorable little pet jumps onto the injured leg and I start screaming again.. Skip asks "Do you need to go to the hospital" throwing her eyes up to the heavens...."No" I reply in a huff.
Cabbagey situation seven: I make sleeping an unbearable task for Skip with all the crying and she demands that I go to the hospital.
Cabbagey situation eight: I'm in the hospital and they have x-rays of a previous leg break to comapare..the nurse turns and asks "how did that one happen" mortified i respond with "that happened while doing the Jade Goody work out video" I hang my head in shame....Skip wasn't even there to help with my embarressment as she had to go to work.
Cabbagey situation nine: I'm diagnosed with a fracture of the foot...I'm sent home....my good pal Flangey picks me up to bring me to the shopping centre to collect a prescription. Now for anyone who has been afflicted with the task of enduring crutches, may the lord be with you...they are hell on earth. Your hands swell with the weight of yourself on two sticks, especially if your fond of an owl ice-cream. Your knackered after about ten yards...you start to sweat at about twelve yards...all in all after about fifteen yards Flangey gets me a mechanical wheelchair to travel around the shopping centre in.....mortified but necessary
Cabbagey situation ten: A child about six passes me out while on crutches....again, mortified.
Cabbagey situation eleven: Flangey buys me an ice-cream and I have to reverse out of Game Stop as I haven't got enough room for a three point turn and the wheelchair starts beeping like an articulated truck...again mortified.
Cabbagey situation twelve: We get clamped for parking in a wheelchair spot and have all out war with the clamper......
I could go on and on....but I won't, when Skip came home she was very sympathetic until I showed her the photos of the days events...flangy couldn't help herself the camera was out every five minutes.....then she just called me a Cabbage...
Moral of the story: don't take your washing in at night!!!
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