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Friday, 13 November 2015

Weightloss, A Photoshoot and A Bloody Ear

For those of you know me, you know I have struggled with my weight since my early 20’s when I was involved in an incident that left me on steroids for months.  I piled on the weight and never lost it.  My weight has since gone up and down like an escalator on a power surge.

Well, I am currently the heaviest I have ever been and while my friends and family tell me you’re not exactly fat, I know they are lying through their teeth.


Now not one to publicly embarrass myself I was recently approached to take part in a weight management program.  This would cost me nothing, but there was a catch.  I would have to have an article written about me in a Sunday Newspaper in January.  That’s not the worst news… There would be a BEFORE and after photo.  This terrified me. 

The thoughts of standing there, having my baps out, in a pair of knicker shorts, while the photographer made every possible attempt to make me look worse than in bits, was the most frightening thing to think about but my partner said “bub, this is exactly the motivation you need, you’ll do great”.  I said “Awe F@%k it, I’ll do it.

So I made an appointment with the lovely Karen Prendergast of Transform4Life and off I went, not knowing what to expect.  I met Karen and she made me feel totally at home.  When I arrived, the table was laid out with a heap of healthy eating options and I couldn’t help but notice the dreaded scales in the corner but I just ignored that.  I was soon totally at ease and after a two hour conversation about food, habits and triggers I went on my way with my eating plan and a 24 hour number to contact Karen if I needed to.  I was feeling positive and enthused. 

Then came the dreaded photo shoot.  I arrived early at Evan Doherty’s studio in Georges Street.  I was clearly a nervous wreck but had in my possession a little paper bag which contained the outfit that I wanted to wear for this shoot. 

When I met the guys I was totally at ease, they were handsome, fun and I would have loved to share a beer with them…but then I remembered, I was there to have someone photograph me, FAT.  I asked could I use the loo, I bypassed the changing room and tried to change in the toilet.  The room wasn’t small, but with the nerves I managed to drop my shoe into the toilet and then when I went to retrieve it, dropped the top of the vest that I was to wear, in on top of the toilet duck covered shoe.

After I left the bathroom, smelling of toilet water and dripping with sweat (from the nerves) I went out to the guys who had the lights and stuff in place.  As I tried to suck in my belly and keep my arms out, Evan kept making me laugh which put me totally at ease.  Now I was no Cindy Crawford but I relaxed enough for him to get a photo which I’m sure he felt got my fatness across.

After that it was off to the gym for my training plan.  Fear set in again as I hadn’t been anywhere near the gym since before the cycle for Console during the summer.  I went in, got changed and decided that I would use the facilities.  I went in with my music, earphones, towel and €2 for my bottle of water.  I entered and locked the door, dropped my phone, went to retrieve it, came back up, bashed my ear off the toilet roll holder and then dropped everything.

As I gathered my belongings and left the loo, I entered the dressing room to find an alcohol swab.  On doing so I ran into the personal training guy who looked at me as blood  poured down my neck (well it was more of a trickle but poured is more dramatic).  After a good five minutes of searching for a swab, one aged one, was handed to me and off I went, concussed, to complete my training.

With the first week nearly over and the impending first weigh in looming, I am feeling positive.  I haven’t been drinking, eating crap or buying shite.  I’ve been cooking in work and planning my meals.  I’ve been quite busy so the week has flown.  I have to be down pounds, this weeks lifestyle changes were huge, but manageable.  I know I have gone on a bit but this is my first post about this, I promise it will be shorter.  I hope you will follow my progress and if you see me with a donut in hand, a swift kick to the swollen ear should sort me out.

I shall update you following my weigh in, feel free to share if you dare. 

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