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Saturday, 18 February 2017

Wizards Assemble - A Review

Being an avid Harry Potter fan you can only imagine my excitement when I found out  that ‘Wasted Promotions’ were bringing to Dublin a Wizards Assemble, Harry Potter themed Pub Crawl.  I nearly danced around my kitchen imagining all kinds of like-minded weirdos crawling through Dublin armed with wands and robes leaving the passing muggles in a state odd resentment like jealousy. 

The time was 7pm the date was 17th February 2017 and the mood was nervous excitement (well for me) my partner was entertaining my seriously embarrassing excitement because she loves me and knows she’s better off just letting me be a total dork than having to deal with my total geekiness.  Having conned four more of our family members to attend, the six of us pranced gaily up the stairs of Capitol Bar and met our ‘reps’, were told we are in group one, were given a bracelet and ordered our gillyweed cocktails.

After about ten minutes of  admiring each other’s costumes we were told that group one was leaving and to down our drinks and be on our way.  In a rather rapid rush what seems like about 100 of us were escorted down the back stairs and off to Harrys on the Green.  I asked the ‘rep’ how long we had here and she said ‘half an hour’.  I ran to the bar, only to face a wall of wizards trying to order a drink.

After twenty minutes queuing I ordered our group a drink.   We had ten minutes to down it.  We decided to get a plan in place and prepare to be ready to leave in front of the group in order to be able to get a drink and enjoy it at the next bar, so with our second drink downed we legged it to the front of the group and were met by group two on their way in.  We battered our way by them and then trudged up to Wexford Street, into Karma, where we met with a young ‘rep’ who handed us our chop sticks covered in glue, sorry I mean Wands.  Mine was still tacky with spray paint and poor Joes was falling apart but we were still in high spirits and eager for the games and spot prizes that were to be showered upon the group.

By the fourth bar ‘Opium’ on Camden Street we were growing suspicious.  Our ‘reps’ were confused, there were no spot prizes and all wizards and muggles alike were starting to suspect that there was nothing of note in plan for the evening.  I spoke to two lovely Beletrix Le Strange characters who decided they were going to skip the next bar to try and get a drink in time to enjoy it because all they seemed to do was stand in a que and down a drink in five minutes. 

By the time we got to Whelans Bar I manged to track down a rep and ask was anything going to happen bar the constant queuing, her reply was “I’m really sorry, I was just told to turn up at six and make sure you get to the bars by a certain time, I don’t know nothing”.  Having had a few drinks I managed to laugh out loud and slag “Wasted Promotions” management of the event to all the other Wizards who were conned.  Some of the guys and gals we met came up with the plan to change groups so we managed to hang with a group from group 4 for a while who were hilarious.  After a couple of drinks in Whelan’s we headed off, lost our group, our wands were now just wooden chopsticks and I wanted to strangle the “Wasted Promotions” organisers with my Gryfindor tie.

When I fell in the door last night I was intoxicated to say the least.  Downing drinks in order to keep up with a too fast paced pub crawl is not what one would call drinking responsibly but to top it all off, this morning I awoke to a notification from Wizards Assemble Facebook page thanking everyone for a wonderful night.  As I watched the negative comments pouring in, I jumped on board and started in on the discussion.  It was becoming quite enjoyable in a morbid kind of way watching the comments pile up about others disappointment in the event and as they continued to come in they started to be deleted.  Imagine, whoever is controlling their Facebook page is (I'm going to say allegedly)  deleting the negative comments.  Seriously, how pathetic.  (I do realise that I was dressed up to go to a themed night, so I shouldn’t really be calling anyone pathetic except myself, but seriously).


Now, don’t get me wrong, I had a blast, but this had little to do with the event. My merriment had nothing to do with Wasted Promotions and everything to do with the company I was in.  The event was badly managed and a total waste of time.  My advice to anyone thinking of going to any of these events is, don’t, gather your ticket money together and have a Harry Potter themed night at a house party.  At least this way you will get to enjoy your drink. Wasted Promotions, my opinion, aptly named.  PS: I’m not a skin flint, €8 was cheap as chips for a ticket, but I’m not sure what I paid for.