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Friday, 10 January 2014

The Jollerie New Year - I can't believe it's been a year since I didn't become a better person.

What exactly is a New Years Resolution, it’s a to do list for the first week of January.  So, As we are already ten days into 2014 and I sit here tits deep in boredom, it struck me that as the new year reals in so does my never ending  aging.  I feel like I’m getting so old I’m going to need the bible to reminisce.  So I want to feel younger…how does one do that? Can one change the habits of a lifetime? I’m not sure.  They are not called habits of a year, or the habits of 2000-2014, a lifetime is a lifetime. 


I feel very hard done by having a new years birthday, how dare my parents be so inconsiderate.  While every other Tom Dick and Mary are out there celebrating the fact that they are giving up the usual things, deciding they are going to go to the gym at least 3 times a week and hugging strangers they barely know whilst signing old Lang Sigh , I’m planning my birthday and there is no way I am not drinking, smoking or being a generally debaucherous human until at least mid January.

Instead of giving up the drink or the smokes or even in some cases the food, you (well I) drink, smoke and eat your way into the new year trying to distract yourself from the impending birthday and before you know it, it’s the end of January and too late to give up said drink, smokes and food until next year. 

So I’m making a change, I’ve decided to have my new year like the Chinese, later on in January.  Now the Chinese are celebrating their new year on Friday 31st January, that’s a little late for my liking, I could end up putting on another stone and becoming a fully fledged alcoholic before then.  Thankfully I’ve given up the smokes, well I have the odd one now and then but I’m not buying them regularly and I’m quite proud of that.

So I’m creating the Jollerie New Year.  This year on Monday the 13th January 2014 I’m starting my own new year.  Now I know 13 is usually an unlucky number but sure I’m pretty unlucky anyway and I’ve failed at every other attempt I’ve made to change my bad habits so I’m going to overlook the unlucky number and take it as a good omen and start afresh.

·         I’m not going to do weight watchers – I’m sick and tired of paying to be told I didn’t stick to my diet plan.

·         I’m not going to promise to go to the gym – I’m a bit of a rebel and hate “having to do things” so its best to just go with the flow and do it when I want to.

·         I’m not going to not drink – I’ll just drink in moderation

·         I’m not going to not eat – I shall eat when I want but try be healthy

·         I’m not going to not smoke – I will smoke if the mood takes me but be sensible

I have four weddings this year so if I cant find a dress I only have myself to blame.  One of which I am a bridesmaid for with two scrawnbags (yes you know who you are and you are scrawnbags),  so on this note I shall promise myself day by day to do something, if I feel like going to the gym I will, if I feel like having a drink I will, I recon its all about moderation.  So I will cross my fingers, legs and fallopian tubes and pray to all that is holy that this year will be the year I change those habits of a lifetime!  Roll on 2014 Year of The Jollerie

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