Well people, we awoke on board The Oscar Wilde and off I was sent to forage for some food! I had a shower which surprised me! Not that I had a shower of course but the fact that it was surprisingly powerful.
Back I came to the cabin laden with apple juice, orange juice, coffee and cappuccino...oh and not forgetting a bacon sandwich, god only knew when we would be fed again.
After that we realized the hour goes forward and it was nearly time to disembark the boat! Captain Gorden announced that our pilot had arrived, which caused me major confusion until realized that that the pilot guides the ship into port.
After that we were told to make our way to our respective vehicles which was basically everyone bailing their way to their cars with no consideration for anyone else.
We got to the car, we're told not to turn on our engines...of course everyone does...50 minutes later I'm dying of carbon monoxide poising and we get off.. It's first on last off I'm afraid. Not to forget the gobshite who sleeps in and comes running to their vehicle because nobody can move until everyone is in their cars.
Once we hit air we cheer as we pass our passports over to French police who barely look at them before saying Aurivor ... Skip slags me as I respond with hasta mañana
To the open road we head and drive...and drive....and drive.... And nearly run out of petrol!
Sheila our untrustworthy sat nav keeps telling us there are petrol stations everywhere... Tip: every 50k there is a petrol station motorway do not and I repeat do not go looking for one of a Sunday ... Everything closes on Sunday in France ... It's like a Christmas morning in old ireland.
After that I decided I was hungry again and needed a sambo! Due to my total inability to speak French I spoke three languages in one sentence to try purchase one, it went like this:
Ta bron orm, nein sprechen die French, dos (I pointed to said sandwich) por favor .... Skip was only mortified! But laughed it off as she made a fairly decent effort at it!
When we got to the car we found out the petrol station sandwich was chibata, with brie stuffed with goats cheese and topped with lettuce and walnuts! Whatever happened to ham and cheese! To my surprise it was the tastiest sandwich I ever had. Delicious.
Then I needed to pee! I forced skip into a rest stop where the toilet resembled a Thai mountain toilet, I managed successfully but skip wasn't as lucky and complained of smelling piss of herself for about 20 miles as I laughed until I needed to stop again!
You hit one toll just as you enter Bordeaux and its €27... And I moan about the €3 on the M50.
Eight hours later, 870 kilometers of driving from dublin, a couple of recalculations later, we arrive in Bordeaux where the drivers are like the Schumachers on speed. After ten minutes of horn honking and bad drivers I got into the swing of things and was "merde"ing out of me to beat the band!
We arrived at the hotel and were pleasantly surprised by the room, although the shower would be more designed for a person more vertically challenged than myself! The staff were
lovely and check in was as easy as pie!
Off we ventured to the square which was literally 2 mins from the hotel and had a couple of beers before dinner! We went to the only restaurant doing food on a Sunday and I had a very average salmon and scallop tagliatelle with a delicious white wine and skip had a vile chicken and mushroom thing that was freezing! Again I laughed at her misfortune.
We ended off the night in a little bar called Victoria where the staff were lovely and really made the effort! I wasn't into the wine skip chose, it was too sweet and I felt like I was getting brain freeze from it!
We returned to the hotel delighted with the days events and hit the sack... All in all a lovely day was had by all!