Lads, it's been a busy few days! Last time I posted I was in Malaga after driving for 13 hours and nearly getting mangled in madrid!
We ended up in San Pedro after paying a visit to fungeroula, belamadina, Porto banus and benihavis! Costa del sol was brilliant! Skip got so much sun I thought that Madonna was going to surprise us by trying to adopt her...she's as my granny used to say "as brown as a berry" I actually think she's so dark she's almost navy.
I should have known from the day we arrived.... She was wearing a bikini that resembled a laughing cow cheese triangle and was smeared with factor 2 oil and I sported a burka like outfit with matching hat and factor 50!
After a couple of days of that skip resembled a scalded Micky and I was a glowing golden healthy bronze.. In your face factor 2!
Between the jigs and the reels and the mojitos and the margaritas I had a ball! ...that was until I got locked and had to walk barefoot home from joeys... But I wasn't the only one! Poor joe, skips nephew in law lost one flip flop and then stood on something that bit him - instead of sympathy we decided more drink and midnight swimming was the only cure!
The next morning it was back to fungeroula and off to Portugal !!
Well we travelled onto Portugal after that, soaking in the sights! Stunning! 4.5 hours later, Passing over bridges the size of small countries and into petrol stations that charges €1.77 a litre! I thought we had it bad.... When we reached albufeira my dad was standing on the road Wearing a white Linen shirt (unopened) and looking totally relaxed!
When we arrived at the house he was only too delighted to inform us his neighbor is .... Drum roll please ..... Annie Lennox.... Imagine my excitement ...I could feel a stalking situation coming on!
After days of stalking All I got to see was her blacked out jeep scuttling out the gate one afternoon! Oh and her dogs wouldn't shut up one afternoon disturbing my burka esk sun session!
We left albufeira today... We drove through the pissings of rain through the cork tree district !!! Yes cork comes from forests of trees. They are shaved every six years... Kind of like myself ..
If your looking for 5 glasses of wine for €4.40 it's the place to be... I had to call the waitress to assure her the check was wrong! She amended it to €4 ... I was mortified..
Then made a show of myself ordering breakfast and assuring the waitress that I wanted eggs .... She said Ova (Ova means eggs in Portuguese ) I said yes Ova Easy... Then there were weird words and jokes between her and skip and I realized I was the butt of the joke again ....
We drove north to Porto.... We left wearing shorts vests and flip flops and arrived in Porto at our 4* hotel where we were surrounded by a gang of hobos drenched in rain and thunder! I felt so at home!
After a row with the hotel staff over parking, an altercation with the lical homeless dudes, a change of hotel later we were settled at a nice hotel right in the centre of the city!
As myself and skip sat out having a glass of the local wine dressed in summer gear in the rain watching the elderly go into church dressed in wollen scarves and gortex jackets we realized something...... We must look like tools....
The hobos followed us around all night... I started feeling sorry for them,but as we still haven't received our visa cards we can't be to easy with the flow of cash.... That's why I can't pass a gallery and purchase another painting..
We retire to our room having paid €9.20 for four glasses of wine and a bottle for the room...#guilt