I few to New York early this week to be present for the birth of my newest Niece. Flying for me , even when I’m with someone, is somewhere between gouging your own eyeball out with a pipe cleaner and having a catheter inserted. Flying alone is more like throwing yourself into a lava pit knowing you’re never going to return. My partner decided to let me spend some quality time with my family and abandoned me. I bordered the plane and took position right at the front so I could eyeball the stewardess for signs of eminent death then downed a Xanax. She obviously picked up on my nervous disposition and was super kind and came over to me after take off to check that i wasn’t going to go full on, bat shit crazy.
I wasn’t too worried about the food on the plane because lets face it, there’s not that much off it. If I am honest, it wouldn’t fill a gap in your tooth. So I had the weird potato and solitary lump of diced beef and didn’t think much off it. For the majority of the flight I spent it huddled in my seat with the seat belt nearly cutting off my circulation with a blanket wrapped around my entire body following the air hostesses with my eyes. We flew into a 200km head wind making the flight super long and overly bumpy. Eventually we landed and the greeting i received from my four year old niece Ella was enough to bring my bat shit craziness back to normal and near to tears.
My sister, aware of my desire to lose the weight had prepared a slimming world turkey chili. This was delicious. Normally when I arrive we either head straight out for some holiday grub and overload on the booze and don’t think of the consequences. This trip is totally different. We sat and chatted and the first couple of days were catching up and bonding with Ella. We went out for lunch to the local diner and I ordered a salad with dressing on the side. The night before my sister was due to go into hospital we ordered take out. I ordered sushi and sashimi was was able to enjoy my food without feeling guilty.
The following day we all went off to the hospital to be there for the birth of the newest edition to the family. Maternity hospitals in the USA are totally different to ours. When we arrived we all were walked to a private room beside the delivery suite and had access to couches and a TV. There was no limit to the number of guests that were allowed in with us. We were a loud and happy bunch. My brother in laws family were lovely. The girls were eager to find out all about my diet and what was involved and then ran off and brought some fruit back for me ‘cause they were all nibbling on muffins and candy.
Then it came, the nursery rhyme that played out over the hospital sound system every time a baby is born and we knew it was ours. We all went running like lunatics through to where the baby is brought for washing and weighing and saw her, for the first time. We all eyeballed the Nurse with venom as she scrubbed little Charlotte from head to toe then jabbed her with a big needle. Ella nearly lost her reason but then she was swaddled and brought to the window where we all bawled and hugged and went off to celebrate. I lost a pound this week. In my opinion an excellent achievement considering the excitement.
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