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Friday, 13 January 2012

What A Cow

For those of you who read my blog about me playing the tin man in the Wizard of Oz, this blog has the same location, just not on the stage.

I was very tiny in both primary and secondary school, always one of the smallest.

In primary it didn't take long for others to take advantage of the fact that I was little.  I got bullied a lot, I didn't have that inner city twang that the others had.  When I first started in William Street I got an awful lot of grief, I was thrown in a cement mixer, I had paint in my hair, I was constantly slagged because I didn't sound like 'town'.  Now don't get me wrong, I had friends, I was popular with them, I don't actually remember feeling like I was being bullied.

I do remember hating and fearing a couple of the girls who in my opinion were horrible people but bar those I enjoyed school.  I had lots of extra curricular things to keep me occupied.

My brother (god bless him) on a number of occasions would come running from the nearby boys school to rescue me and find me in all kinds of shite.

Now this incident is not so much my fault, not me being clumsy for once, but some might find it funny.

                                                                 Not Actual Horses

I was in the PE hall of our school doing gym and there were if you can imagine, these little bench things that after watching the demonstration, one had to jump up on and run along, then jump off it and then jump onto one of those horse things by using this little bouncy thing that wasn't a trampoline but a leathery thing that just gave a bit of a bounce, then jump on the horse and jump off it onto a blue mat then jump on to the other
bench, run along it and run back to the beginning of the line to start all over again.

Easy right, No!

I waited my turn in anticipation, I was very competitive for a short kid.  I watched as one of the taller girls pranced along the bench, jumped of, gracefully, then using the bouncy thing flung herself up onto the horse getting a cheer from the others.  She then jumped off the horse onto the mat adding a little jump at the end and onto the last bench where she danced and skipped down the bench to the finish.  Grand I thought, that looks easy.

I run toward the bench, jump up onto it, EASY, run along the bench and jump off, SUPER, then I run at the bouncy thing, throw myself at it hurling myself toward the horse where I totally wind myself as I didn't get enough hight and my chest hit the edge.  OWWHHHHHAA I hear in unison behind me, I fight it off and drag myself up onto the horse.  I'm tiny remember, I didn't realise how high this is, I am standing there debating whether or not to scale down the side of it.  It looks really high from up there.

I hear someone running along the bench, SHITE, I have to jump down, OHHH I stand there himming and hawwing about throwing myself off it.  I look behind and one of the really tall girls is bouncing up onto the horse, there is not enough room for both of us, Balls, I stand and face her deciding to scale down, too late, she bounces up onto the horse, she must have given herself a good bounce cause as she hits the horse she is in the middle of it with one leg out.  She kicks me in the chin and I go flying off the horse backwards missing the mat by about a foot.
                                                                  Not My Actual Neck

I hear all kinds of laughter and I am bawling on the floor.  The other girl stands over me apologising but I start to wonder is she really sorry.  I am hawled off in an ambulance to head off to Temple Street.  Turned out to be for the best cause I was off school for a few days after pulling something in my neck and ended up with a huge collar thing on my neck.  I was only about 9.

Who is to blame here, me for dilly dallying on the horse or the tall girl for kicking me off it....
Either way...makes for a good cabbagy moment!

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