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Saturday, 3 December 2011

Crazy Assed Pigeons Nearly Killed Me!

Oh My God........

Photo does not represent actual size!!!!

I wasn't going to blog today it being a Saturday and all that but sweet Jesus in Heaven the ordeal I had to go through today and the total embarrassment that followed deserves an aul blog.

I'm around in the village trying to get my prescription filled as I'm a little under the weather what with my version of Man Flu....I like it to be know as Les Flu.

Anyway there I am leaving the pharmacy when out of nowhere two Massive Pigeons and I mean Massive, they were like those winged monkey things out of The Wizard of Oz, flew onto me...  and I mean onto me...I think they were involved in some mating ritual because the bigger of the two, Massive 1, appeared to be trying to dry hump the smaller one, Massive 2, but she was having none of it....this was all going just above my head....Massive 1 actually touched my shoulder.

So I obviously start screaming like a whaling banshee and drop my prescription and try to cover myself with my arms....Now even I'm aware that I am screaming for a while so I take it upon myself to look out from under my arms.

I take a quick look around and realise these two F&*kers have flown off leaving me standing in the middle of the main street looking like a total cabbage.

I try to gather myself together by picking up my medicine and brushing myself off when I realise there are a group of kids actually screaming with the laughter at my misfortune.....I was so in shock I couldn't even laugh back...mortified and riddled with all kinds of bird diseases I fly home to take a shower...Total Cabbage.

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