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Sunday, 11 December 2011

The Jade Goody Work Out Video - Yet Another Broken Leg


RIP Jade Goody

Well yet another totally mortifying story to entertain you all.

This one starts on a mild Autum evening down in the Bough....Mom had died and myself and Kim had renovated the downstairs of the house knocking down walls and what not to give us more light and space...

Space to do workout videos...It was actually a DVD but due to my ever increasing age I still continue to say things like..I'm off to the video shop....or Skip, drop those DVD's round to the video shop....I dont actually call them videos..but the shop is still the video shop...

Anyway this one day Kim and I had had a barney of some description...probably down to leaving the emersion on or something...what with us being poverty stricken students and all that...ESB was pricey...

So she had gone out in a huff and I had been feeling like I had a fat day...well there's no lying about it..who am I kidding I WAS having a fat day due to the fact that I was a tad overweight....love them cream buns....

So out came Kims Jade Goody Dance DVD....In I popped, there she was God rest her soul bouncing around on screen...actually looked like a bit of crack so I decided to join in....I was just observing for a while...

Now in our little renovation of the house we made an adjustment to our fireplace..making not so child friendly what with sharp edges and the chrome edge thingy and I just wasn't paying it enough attention..

The workout started off fine...a couple of 1980 dance moves...I was all over that shit...

Then she started doing this 'must be modern for the time' but a jump thingy whereby you throw one leg over the other and kick out with the other...Bruce Lee would have had problems with this thing! Anyway me being one not to quit that easily was convinced I'd get it and be able to show Kim when she got back.....kind of like a kick you in the gilly peace offering...

So off I go..I must have looked like I was partaking in a sponsored epileptic fit..prancing around with no co-ordination...then out of nowhere I nail it...I'm flying around to the music..I think I am absolutly deadly...I'm prancing and singing and sweating buckets...

I think I got a little too over confident because I literally throw myself across the living room to the beat of the music and my leg goes from under me and I fly into the fireplace bashing my leg and what little dignity I had left off the hard concrete and metal.

I'm flailing around on the floor...crying yet again....I cant ring Kim so I ring Louise...(my like other fake sister) and her and her mom Lilo come around and take me to the hospital..

I am in with the nurse...she asks what happened...my face goes really red...I cant say dancing alone in my living room...they be calling the head doctors for me..do I decide to come clean.."I was doing the Jade Goody work out video"....silence....a smirk...another nurse comes in...what happened..the other nurse was only too delighted to tell her...what about patient confidentiality .

Needless to say they got a great laugh out of it....they even had the cheek to ask is it good....Yeah Brilliant I reply..Total Cabbagy Moment

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